Living in Fear? How to Stop and Experience What IS
What are you afraid of?
Notice how your fears are always about the future.
You aren’t afraid of this moment.
There may be something in this moment that frightens you, but it’s because of what you’re making it mean for your future.
Really, in this moment, if you’re feeling fear - it’s because you believe you’re security is threatened.
What’s threatening your security, however, are your thoughts.
I “lived” this way for most of my life.
I lived in fear, which wasn’t creating the life I am here to live.
I was afraid of:
car accidents and plane crashes
Burglars and Attackers
Being alone and penniless
I had repeating thoughts about these things and THIS is what created fear for me.
The Fear resulted in me not living my life (as if I had been in an accident, attacked or lost my ability to earn money and love)
None of these things have ever happened, at least not in a way that caused detriment to my life, but I was living as if they had.
Because I was constantly thinking that they could.
Your thoughts = Your results.
It’s the same for you.
If you’re like I was and live with a consistent undercurrent of fear you can change it.
1. Allow the feeling of Fear
Living in fear is a result of resisting fear.
When you resist any emotion it is in you, when it needs to be moving through you.
When I was living with fear and thinking about all the things that could happen (proving my fear valid) I wasn’t allowing it to move through me.
The act of telling myself stories and compiling evidence of all the things that could go wrong was because I didn’t yet have the skill of allowing emotion.
What you resist persists.
My fear was persistent. To say the least.
What I needed to learn was how to feel fear.
To notice it as a vibration in my body.
I allow it to move through me.
Fear is paralyzing as well as adrenalizing, by design.
It’s not a design that allows for clear, present living.
When you allow fear you can move through the stickiness it creates in moments.
You do this by being curious about it.
This dissipates resistance and begins a moving towards the feeling - your feeling.
Here’s how to Allow fear (or any emotion)
When you feel afraid (or confused, or lonely, etc) ask yourself:
Where is it in my body?
What does it look like?
What color is it?
Does it have a sound?
Understand the emotion that’s a part of you.
What is it doing now?
Has it changed?
The more you practice this the easier it will be for it to move.
Your attention and presence is what moves it though you.
You being present with it and seeing it as energy - a vibration - will dissipate your fear of it.
2. Notice the thoughts creating the Fear
Now that you’re not afraid of your fear because you’ve met it and seen what it is - a vibration in your body - you can examine what thoughts are creating it.
Your emotions are always created by Your thinking.
Because Fear induces such a powerful physiological response, it’s hard to see this.
But I assure you - it’s true.
Get to the thought and you’ll find the cause of all your fear.
Here’s how to uncover the thoughts creating fear (or any emotion)
Take a piece of paper and a pen and write down your thoughts.
You’re simply writing what you’re thinking.
Thoughts are just sentences in your mind.
Write these sentences out.
If you have a story come out, go back through and circle the thoughts.
Thoughts aren’t facts. Facts are facts.
A fact is something everyone can agree on:
The sky is blue
The temperature is 70 degrees
You are married and have 2 kids
Your thoughts are how you interpret the facts.
These are what you want to capture:
It’s too bright
You’re wife wants to leave you and take full custody of the kids
These thoughts are what create your feelings.
What are your thoughts about the world around you?
The place you’re in, the people you’re with and yourself?
What thoughts create fear?
Now that you know what fear feels like in your body you can more easily identify them.
3. Decide if the thought is creating the result you want
Thoughts are just sentences in your mind.
The more you think these sentences the easier they become.
This is how thoughts become automatic and unconscious.
These are the thoughts that you don’t realize are thoughts - you believe them and see them as the Truth.
But they’re just thoughts.
The only way they are true is if you decide they are.
Just like you made up stories to support your fear, you can make up stories to end it.
It’s all a story anyways.
Your story is made up of thoughts you want to believe and support the feeling you want to have so you can be who you want to be.
So look at your thoughts and decide if they’re true.
The following process is derived from Byron Katie’s ‘The Work’
Here’s how you decide if a thought is true and what it’s creating for you
Let’s use this thought as an example:
“He doesn’t respect me”
Ask yourself: Is it true?
If yes, ask yourself: Can I be 100% certain that it’s true?
Ask yourself: Who would I be without this thought?
Ask yourself: Is there a stress free reason to keep this thought?
Ask yourself: How do I act, what do I do when I think this thought?
How do you act toward him when you think “He doesn’t respect me”?
Then turn the thought around and see if it’s more true.
The thought “He doesn’t respect me”
Can turn around to:
“I don’t respect him” Is this more true?
“I don’t respect myself” Is this more true?
“He does respect me” Is this more true?
How you act when you think the original thought will inform you which of the turnarounds are more true.
Notice how turning it around can provide insight to how your original thought is really just a projection of you.
4. Focus on What Is
Now that you can allow fear and notice it as a vibration moving though your body,
Now that you’re aware of the thoughts creating the fear,
Now that you’ve decided if the thoughts you were thinking are true and what believing them was creating for you in your life
You can focus in what IS.
You are now free to live in the truth.
What’s happening is always the truth.
You don’t need to argue with it, fix it, change it, wish it different.
You’re only choice is to accept it.
What do you want to think about THIS?
I’m a Personal Transformation Coach for Entrepreneurs, Leaders and Powerhouse Individuals.
I help my clients create a future they want to live and in the process:
I teach them how to go into their mind so they can notice their unconscious and automatic thoughts.
I guide them in deciding if they’re thoughts are serving them or not.
I support them in becoming the next version of themselves and witness them get closer to their goals.
It’s THE BEST.
If you’re interested in learning how I can help you go HERE.