Stop Thinking About Goals and Start Living Them: 4 Steps to Creating A System That Delivers Results
Do you know what you do, how you do it and why?
Your processes become your System.
And your System delivers your results.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you use a system each and everyday in your life and your business.
If you’re not conscious of your processes that make up your system, you can’t fine tune them.
So many of us are results driven; meaning we strive for the goal and make reaching it the end game.
But it’s the means itself that create the end result.
We must Create and BE the Art;
the Process, The System.
You do this through trial and error.
In other words; By failing and learning and continuing to take action, Consciously.
Then you find out what works and what doesn’t.
When you find what works, this process becomes your system.
This system, when applied, produces results.
It delivers your Goal.
I’m a recovering Goal Striver.
In the past, I would do whatever I felt needed to be done in the moment to get the results I wanted.
I efforted, surging forward with fire and will to make it happen.
It was forceful.
It didn’t always work, but when it did, I felt like a Warrior.
When it didn’t I felt powerless.
I made my results define my capabilities.
I made the evidence always mean something about me.
This created a lot of suffering.
Suffering for me, but also suffering for the people I wasn’t helping.
Because I made not reaching my goals (however small) mean I’m not capable, I stayed small and silent.
But my biggest goals didn’t go away. They stayed with me. I knew I wouldn’t be given a Vision I wasn’t capable of realizing.
I decided my approach was all wrong and I went looking for how I could do it different.
This is when I found Life Coaching and my teacher Brooke Castillo.
She reminded me of what I already knew, but had forgotten most of the time;
It isn’t the Goal that defines me.
It’s who I become on the way to reaching my goal that makes me the person who reaches the goal.
I must be willing to change and do it different in order to become a different person who’s capable of doing different things.
This was my biggest blind spot;
My expectations were getting in my way.
My attachment to who I believed I needed to be and what this looked like, a curated version of myself, was built on expectations.
Learning how to grow and evolve without expectation IS the process I needed to Master to understand how this system works in my Life.
This is the system that delivers the results of Growing and Evolving.
Now, instead of mostly bumping into walls on my personal growth journey, I move through it more often with awareness and an energy that serves me.
I’m less attached. I notice more.
I’ve learned to let go of expectations. I experience more of what is.
Changing how I look at my goals and how I reach them has allowed me to stay present with what is actually happening; the process.
I’m more present:
noticing my thinking
noticing the vibration I carry
noticing the actions I take
noticing my results
When we focus only on the goal, the how becomes unclear and our ability to learn and adjust less sharp.
I want to show you how to step away from the goal and be with your process so you can create the System that works for you.
How do you know when your system works?
When it produces the results you want.
It may take days, weeks, months or even years to create a system that delivers the results you want, depending on what those results are.
The gap you must fill from where you are now to where you want to be consists of Space and Time.
All we have is Space and Time.
How you interact, relate to and show up with this Space and Time depends on how you think about it.
It always starts with your thoughts.
You must be aware of your thoughts in order to notice if they’re getting you the results you want.
So many of us are on autopilot when it comes to our thinking.
We think our thoughts are true.
When you’re creating a system built on unconscious thoughts then it’ll be more difficult to see how your thoughts are creating your results.
For a lot of us we chalk it up to “This is just how it is”.
My clients say this:
“People are late”
“They haven’t gotten back to me yet”
"I can’t move forward because I’m on other people’s schedules”
“This is just how it is in this Industry”
“Things move so slow.”
These automatic, unconscious thought are both the foundation and the result of your process.
You believe your process is slow because of “Other People”.
But it’s because of you’re thinking.
What you need to do:
In order to build awareness around your thoughts you must practice building awareness around your thoughts.
Make consciousness your practice.
Be the Observer
Remember you are not your thoughts
Thoughts are simply sentences in your mind.
They aren’t true unless you decide they are.
You need to decide in each moment what is true for you.
Decide what’s true because it supports your goals.
One of my most pervasive unconscious and automatic thoughts looked something like this:
“Since I didn’t go to college then I don’t have the knowledge I need to be a successful entrepreneur.”
This held me back.
I wasn’t the entrepreneur I envisioned not because I didn’t go to college, but because of what I made it mean.
Conflict is always in our minds.
When we believe what we want is possible, but we also compile evidence (thoughts) for why it won’t work -
This creates Conflict.
I decided not going to college served me best and gave me a unique and invaluable skill set perfect for what I’m doing.
Have you decided?
Commit to the thoughts and beliefs that serve your goal by aligning with the emotion you imagine feeling when you reach your goal.
Feel it in your body first.
Then name this emotion.
I had to allow the feeling of shame to notice how it was perpetuating not showing up and sharing what I know.
I was blaming my circumstance of not going to college, but it was my thought that I wasn’t qualified enough that was creating the Shame.
I allowed Shame and Felt it.
I named it.
I owned it.
And I decided it didn’t serve me.
I still feel shame and because I can allow it I notice the thoughts that are creating it.
Because I’m aware of this I don’t let it mean anything about me.
I decide in each moment what’s true for me.
Feeling are created by your thinking.
You Feel based on what you Think.
You need to feel the emotion NOW that you’ve decided you’ll feel when you reach your goal.
This is the Vibration that’ll fuel your process.
Choose thoughts that create this emotion.
I decided that Engaged would be the emotion I would feel when I reached my goal.
So this is what I feel NOW.
I’ve chosen thoughts that create this emotion for me and practice those daily.
Your ability to feel and allow your emotions will determine the breadth and quality of your human experience.
Deciding how you feel about the Circumstances in your life builds your power.
How do you want to feel?
You get to decide based on the thoughts and beliefs you want to have.
I used to let other people’s behavior, politics, world events and tragedies ruin my day.
I’d spin in my head about “what it all means”.
This kept me from doing my work because I was silently blaming these circumstances for how I felt and these emotions drained my energy.
Nothing drains our energy.
Our thoughts drain or build energy.
If what you think creates unwanted or unnecessary negativity for you, you can change your thoughts.
Allowing your emotions is how you can uncover the thought creating them.
A byproduct of this is understanding how the emotion feels in your body and naming it.
This builds your emotional intelligence, which is far more valuable than any amount of knowledge you have.
Understanding your emotions by allowing them, naming them and noticing the thoughts creating them are how you:
Show up fully
Authentically connect with others
Take clear decisive action
Make clean choices.
I learned to also allow disappointment, resentment and blame to realize I was the creator of my own suffering.
When I stopped making people and things outside of myself responsible for how I felt, I had my power back.
Then I became more capable of taking different actions.
Emotions fuel Actions.
The actions you take or don’t take are the manifestation of your thinking.
These actions are your process in motion.
Clean Thinking = Clean Vibration = Clean Actions.
What do you DO?
What don’t you do?
Will these actions or inactions add up to the results you want?
When you react to or resist your emotions you’re actions are unclean.
Before, when I made my results always mean something about me, I would try something once or twice then give up.
“It won’t work for me”
“I don’t know how to do this”
“I don’t have the time to figure it out”
This is a big one.
So many of us believe we don’t have enough time to do what we really want to do, which creates scarcity.
Again, if your thoughts about time are in conflict with what you want most you won’t create what you want most of.
Because you don’t have the time.
How are you spending your time?
What do you do or don’t do because of how you’re feeling when you believe you don’t have enough time?
This is your process.
If you believe you don’t have enough time, you probably spend more time thinking about all the things you want to do , but don’t actually do them.
You probably spend more time on Social Media,
You probably spend time doing things you think will help, but they don’t.
I used to spend my time cleaning my house, eating food, drinking.
The thought ‘not having enough time to figure it out’ created a feeling of scarcity. The actions I took from this feeling was spending my time on things that didn’t get me to my goal.
My process delivered my results.
You must be aware.
Your clean actions will create a clear process.
They will be your result.
Looking back, when I did get the result I wanted it felt like a fluke.
Because I wan’t paying attention to my process;
I was at the effect of my automatic, unconscious thinking
I reacted or resisted my emotions
I took action to feel better
My results weren’t measurable.
I couldn’t learn from fails
I didn’t know what questions to ask
I always made my result mean something about me and the world around me.
It was a process that created a system that wasn’t effective or supported me on my evolutionary path as a human.
Now I know my results are the cumulation of my actions, feelings and thoughts, which is my process.
My awareness creates a conscious process.
I become my process.
The results take care of themselves.